


Awake (but I need you)

by ViscountFox



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Altean Lance (Voltron), Alternate Universe, BAMF Lance, Canon-Typical Violence, Established Relationship, Galra Keith (Voltron), Keith's full name is Keithal, Lance and Keith were paladins before the war, Lance believes Keith to be dead, Lance is an emotional wreck, Lance is not royalty, Lance just wants his boyfriend back, M/M, Personal Guard Lance, Reunions, Smart and strategical Lance!, The Blade of Marmora - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-05 07:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11008974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViscountFox/pseuds/ViscountFox
Summary: In which Lance has sworn his loyalty to the Altean crown and is determined to full-fill his duty even ten thousand years later. Except everyone he knew and loved is dead and there's strange aliens piloting his friend's lions. He's at war with the race his dead beloved belonged to and he's finding it hard to stay afloat.He just wants Keithal back in his arms.





	1. He's gone.

**Author's Note:**

> So I haven't posted a fic online for a long long time. I'm trying to get back into my writing and this idea has been floating around in my head for a while now. So here, have some Altean Lance being badass and missing his boo. Not entirely sure what direction this is going in so more tags will be added in as we go.
> 
> Enjoy!

There's a part of him, small and hopeful, that still believes this is all a dream. That Altea isn't really gone, his entire family dead and destroyed. That his fellow paladins, the protectors of Altea, are no longer by his side. Replaced by a group of humans with no experience, no connection or trust. That he hasn't failed his Princess, the future Queen, whom he swore to protect with his life. And now? Now he, Allura and Coran are the only Alteans left alive.

But he knows. Knows you can't dream in cryosleep. That he's very much awake and alive and trying to teach these new paladins what he grew up learning, what he spent his life training for.

And he's trying not to think of his beloved, his darling Red Paladin. The lilac fluff of his ears, the golden amber of his eyes. Because he knows if he does, he'll break down and he'll never come back from it. He sees the way his Princess watches him whenever the red lion is mentioned, like any minute he’ll snap. And sometimes he wishes he could. Because the grief is there, strong and potent and he wishes he could scream to the heavens from his despair. But he can't, not yet. They're at war. They don't have time for him to fall to his emotions, no matter how badly it hurts. The red lion is missing and the new paladins need training. Maybe, once they find the final lion, it's new (oh _god, he'll never see his smile again_ ) paladin and form Voltron, then he'll mourn. He'll mourn for his family, for his king, his people and planet. And he'll recover, he'll move on and avenge them. And then he'll mourn for his beloved, his Keithal, his red to his blue and he will not recover from that. Not for as long as he breathes and fights.

He's brought out of his thoughts by the gentle touch of a hand on his shoulder, the sounds of training filling his ears once more. He turns his head enough to spot his Princess standing just behind him, offering a small smile as she nods her head towards the group working together in the middle of the room.

“How's training coming along?”

Lance turns his attention back to the group, watching the way they move together with hesitation and caution. But they're determined and dedicated, important traits to have as a paladin.

“As well as can be expected, Your Highness. The leader, Shiro, is already efficient in hand to hand combat and he leads the team well. His Galra arm seems to offer an advantage rather than a hindrance. The other two, however, are far more inexperienced in terms of combat. Although, the small one, Pidge, is learning remarkably quickly and has already shown significant improvement. The yellow paladin is more accustomed to long range weaponry like myself.”

There’s silence from behind him so Lance sets his stance into parade rest and observes his new teammates, reminding himself to work with Hunk separately to improve his marksmanship skills. He doesn’t think there’s anything he can physically help Shiro with but he can offer more information on Voltron and the lions, assist with strategizing where he can. It should help him make more informed decisions at the very least. He’s not sure how he can personalise Pidge’s training. Maybe sparring with Shiro would be most beneficial…

“I’m sorry.” The comment is quiet and comes as a surprise. He turns to face his Princess with wide eyes, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“For what, Princess?”

She smiles sadly at him, something like sympathy in her eyes as they flicker to the space behind his shoulders.

“For making you do this.” She gestures to the room. “I was not close to the other paladins. In fact, I barely knew them. To have lost them within what feels like a day and having to replace them so soon….I cannot imagine what that must feel like. I lost my family and my people to the war but you…you lost that and more. Your best friends, your teammates—” She chokes on her words, eyes boring into his own as she utters her next words.

“ _Your beloved_. If you need to—” He cuts her off by grabbing her shoulders, something he would never usually dare to do.

“Your Highness,” He starts, voice gentle. “You are not _forcing_ me to do anything. I offered to train them. As a paladin of Voltron, it made sense for me to offer the knowledge I have. And yes, it hurts to watch them. Hurts like you wouldn’t _believe_.” His eyes feel wet and he clears his throat. “But we are at war. And that is more important. I swore my life to the crown, to serve and protect my people.”

He looks behind him, watches with fondness as Pidge and Hunk share a slap of hands, Shiro laughing along with them.

“They are my people now.” He smiles at his Princess, pained but genuine. “And I will protect them. Just like I protect you.”

He quirks an eyebrow when his Princess huffs at him, smirking as she shakes her head. There’s affection in her gaze that he doesn’t quite understand.

“You know, I was extremely sceptical when the blue lion first picked you. At the time, you were too immature and childish. Constantly making jokes and never taking anything seriously. Frankly, I didn’t think you were fit to be a paladin.”

He splutters in indignation because okay, she’s not _wrong_. But hearing that from your Princess is kind of…it certainly puts a dampener on things.

“But,” She continues, smirk back in full force. “You’ve grown a lot since then. When you were assigned as my personal guard, I was worried you wouldn’t be up to the position, despite already being a paladin. But you proved me wrong. I’m proud of you, Lance.” She’s grinning at him like a proud sister and he’s _not_ crying, shut up.

He immediately drops into a kneel, one hand fisted above his heart and the other curled around his back.

“Thank you, Your Highness.”

_(He wishes Keithal was here to hear it.)_

* * *

 

 

“I’ve finally been able to locate the red lion.”

Lance’s pulse pounds in his throat as they stand together in the control room, memories trying to shove their way to the forefront of his mind as he stares at the hologram. The little red lion stares back at him, but all he can see is purple claws scratching at a metal chin, a deep voice in his ear full of pride.

_(“Good kitty.”)_

He shakes himself out of it, catching Allura’s concerned glance in his direction and trying to ignore it. He straightens his posture and forces his attention back on task as his Princess continues.

“Unfortunately, it appears to be in the hands of the Galra.” He hears a shocked intake of breath from of the humans, worry marring their faces.

“Understandable.” Lance speaks up and everyone in the room immediately looks at him. Even the mice seem confused. Lance rolls his eyes as he explains. “The red paladin was a Galra. So was the original black paladin. I’m not surprised that they believe the lion belongs to them.”

“Lance is right. The Galra have had the red lion for ten thousand years. We need to get it back. Without it and it’s paladin, we cannot form Voltron. I still need to pin point it’s exact location but be prepared to leave within the next couple of vargas. Shiro and Lance will be infiltrating the ship. You are the most combat efficient and Lance will be able to sense the lion’s location. Pidge, Hunk, you will be providing back up and a distraction. For now, continue your training and prepare yourselves. Dismissed.”

 

* * *

 

 

Lance sits on the metal foot of his lion, absently running his fingers against the smooth texture of her claws. The silence of the hanger is relaxing for his troubled mind, the coolness of the space giving him a chance to clear his head and actually think for a minute. So he takes the opportunity to ponder the good things in his life right now.

He still has Blue, his beautiful and loyal companion and their bond is as strong as ever. His Princess is alive. Alone and sad and bearing a heavy burden but alive and breathing and relatively safe. He can still serve and protect her like he promised her father. Coran, amazing wonderful Coran. Practically an uncle to both him and Allura. He’s glad they have him with them.

And there’s the new paladins. Strange and alien but brave and fierce in their own way. He thinks, with time and teamwork, they could be friends. A family. It would be nice, to have a family again.

He becomes aware of a soft purring sound echoing in his mind and smiles up at his lion, affection filling his chest. She’s always been there for him, comforting him whenever he needed it. He’s so glad to have her with him now, when things start piling up and he just can’t handle it on his own. And now with Keithal gone…

“I miss him, Blue.” He sighs into the emptiness of the hanger, despondence weighing down his body.

“Um…dude?” Lance jerks from his seat with a yelp at the unexpected voice, almost falling off Blue’s foot altogether. He places his hand over his pounding chest in a display of dramatics, breathing heavy as he spins around to face the newcomer.

“Hunk! Man, you scared me. Don’t sneak up on a guy like that.”

“Heh, sorry.” Hunk gives an awkward chuckle as he walks closer, coming to stand in front of Lance where he’s sat down. “You’ve been in here a while though. You okay?”

“Yeah.” He says, curling his legs up to his chest and resting his chin on his knees. He changes his mind the next second and shakes his head roughly, a sharp sign leaving his lips. “No, actually. Not really. I’ve been trying to ignore it but with the upcoming mission…”

Hunk nods in sympathy and sits on the edge of Blue’s foot, ducking his head to catch Lance’s eyes with his own. “What’s up?” His voice is inquiring but not demanding, a gentle push.

“It’s just…seeing the red lion again. It’s gonna be hard. The red paladin and I…we were close. _Very_ close. And knowing that once we get the red lion back, we’ll have to find a new paladin for her. And then. That’ll just prove it. You know? That he’s _gone._ He’s _gone._ And he’s _never_ coming back. I won’t ever get to _see_ him again. Or _talk_ to him. Or _hold_ him. He’s just…. _gone_.”

He’s crying and he needs to stop. He promised he wouldn’t break down before they got all the lions together. But he didn’t realise how hard it would be just thinking about seeing the red lion again. It’s like he’s only just realising that he’s the _only paladin left of his time._ And it _hurts_.

A meaty arm warps itself around his shoulders, bringing his head down to rest on their own. Hunk offers no false words of comfort, just rubs his hand up and down Lance’s arm while he cries. He sits with him until Allura’s voice comes through the castle speakers, calling them all to the control room and they head of down the halls together.

_(He can’t help but feel the absence of fur brushing his neck, claws combing through his hair as soft croons fill his ears.)_


	2. He's irreplaceable.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally have Red Lion back where she belongs, but Lance isn't willing to let her go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...haha...it's been a year. Oops.  
> I am honestly sorry about abandoning this for so long, I even already had this chapter half written. Unfortunately, I started my third year at Uni and it kicked my ass. But Uni is finished now and I'll be graduating in a month (into the real world ugh) so I wanted to get back to this.  
> And you don't even get a long chapter, damn.

The plan, after Allura and Coran had narrowed down the Red Lion’s exact location, is for Hunk and Pidge to distract the Galra while Shiro and Lance sneak in the side in a cloaked Altean pod. While the Galra are kept busy, Lance will use his connection with Red to track her down with Shiro acting as back up. It’s a simple plan. In and out, the Red Lion will be back where she belongs, and they can get to work figuring out who will pilot her.

Lance isn’t sure how he’s going to make it through that last bit.  

* * *

 

Lance has never been all that fond of Galra ships. The colour scheme clashes with his usual aesthetic, it’s always so dark despite the fluorescent magenta lights lining every corridor and they’re stupidly difficult to navigate. The Castle was big sure but Galra ships were just mazes, especially one as big as this.

He’s been running through corridors, following Red’s faint calling, for the past ten minutes and he’s pretty sure he’s sprinted round the same corner three times now. He’d split up with Shiro once they’d entered the ship and discovered that there were slaves being held on board. Lance had seen no reason why they couldn’t alter the plan slightly for what is bound to be the first of many rescue missions. They we’re capable of doing both and as far as Lance is concerned, the sooner they start acting like Paladin’s of Voltron, the better. He just hopes their new leader is doing okay on his own.

Red’s beckoning voice suddenly pulses in his mind, becoming much louder as he skids to a stop in front of a door way. There, held aloft in a massive hanger, is the Red Lion, as brilliant and fiery as when Lance last saw her. His head is filled with her victorious roaring and bright waves of recognition and welcome wash over him. An elated laugh spills from his mouth as he rushes forward, and her shield drops before he even reaches her. His shaking hands roam over her muzzle as she lowers her head to him, conflicting feelings of overwhelming joy and sadness stealing his breath away.

“It’s good to see you, girl.” He whispers to her, his voice choked.

An image of Keithal is projected in his mind, his sharp grin and the way his hair would flick up from his ears, golden eyes crinkled in softness, and Lance _sobs_ at the intrusion. He doesn’t know what she’s asking him but he understands that this is wrong. He’s not the one that should be here, comforting her after their long absence. But he’s the only one left who knows their bond, how much the Lion’s meant to the Paladins, how much Red cared for Keithal. It beaks his heart all over again, that he’ll have to witness someone else try and grow that close to her.

“I’m sorry.” He chokes out, his forehead pressed painfully against her metal jaw as he squeezes his eyes shut to stop the tears. “He should be here. But he’s g-gone, Red. And he’s not coming back.”

A sense of soothing comfort and reassurance ripples down his spine and Lance sends Red a grateful, if a little watery, smile. The moment is abruptly broken by alarms blaring above his head, red lights flashing and reflecting off Red’s metallic shell. A sense of panic tightens his chest and he quickly tunes in to the communicator in his helmet, where Shiro’s strong voice comes through.

“The slaves are safe but getting them out set off the alarm! We have to move quickly before we’re overwhelmed!”

Lance is about to reply an affirmative when he’s cut off by shouting coming from behind him and he looks over his shoulder to see a fleet of guards moving towards him through the open doorway, weapons ready.

“I’d say that’s our cue to go.” He quickly climbs into Red’s cockpit after she opens her mouth for him and a precise shot from her tail laser has the hanger door flying open.

* * *

 

Allura is already opening up a wormhole by the time Lance smoothly sets down in Red, relieved to see the other Lions already safely tucked away in their hangers. Shiro’s pod is parked not too far away, a flood of refugees eagerly surrounding the paladins to thank them for their service. Lance smiles at the flustered look on Shiro’s face as he shakes hand after hand, bowing his head at each alien that passes.

As the adrenaline wears off and Red starts powering down, Lance heaves a sigh and leans back in the pilot seat, staring down at the controls in front of him. He can’t count the amount of times he’s been inside this very cockpit, different to Blue’s with it’s red glow and comforting heat, but he’s never been in here alone. Not until now at least, and it feels wrong. There’s no armour-clad thighs under his, strong enough to hold his weight like he was lighter than air. No gloved fingers wrapped around his waist, holding him steady as Red playfully jostles them through the sky. No fur tickling his neck as sharp toothed kisses steal his breath, stutter his heart, ignite a love so powerful he feels like he could _glow_ from the feeling alone. No breathless laughter dancing along his ears when the marks on his cheeks betray his thoughts and do just that, blue light glinting in gold irises…

Some of Lance’s happiest memories were made in this very cockpit but as he sits there, chest hollow, he can’t help but think-

_-it feels like a tomb._

* * *

 

The Princess is waiting for them when they arrive on the bridge, helmets tucked under their arms and an air of pride around them. While it got a little chaotic towards the end, the mission was a success and now they have all five lions aboard the ship, if only four paladins to fly them.

“Well done, Paladins!” The Princess offers them a small smile, eyes a little brighter with new found hope. “You did well for your first group missions, although you still have a long way to go as a team.”

Lance wants to take offense to that, but he knows his Princess is right, they’re nowhere near the level the previous Paladins used to work at.

“Now,” Allura continues, hands clasped together in front of her. “before we unlock the Black Lion, I believe it’s important to discuss our lack of Red Paladin first.”

Lance feels his stomach drop, chest tight at the very thought of replacing Keithal. He’s been dreading this moment, enough that it was all he could think about on the way up from the hangers. He’d came to a decision then, standing in the elevator with his fellow Paladins. He didn’t want anyone else piloting Red. He couldn’t let anyone in that cockpit, tainting his beloved’s memory. Nobody could pilot her like he did.

“How exactly do we go about finding a new Red Paladin anyway?” Hunk pipes up, scratching at the hair under his headband.

“Yeah, is it like how you found the Red Lion? Can you track them down? Can the Lion find them?” Pidge’s enthusiasm to learn anything new is obvious and Allura gives them an indulgent smile.

“Actually-” The Princess begins but Lance cuts her off before she can get started, all this talk of searching for a new Paladin unbearable.

“We’re not looking for a new Red Paladin. We don’t need one.” The silence after his statement makes him twitch, eyes flickering across the confused expressions surrounding him. It’s Shiro who finally speaks up.

“Lance? I understand that you have some sort of… _history_ with the Red Lion but we need-”

“No, we _don’t._ ” He’s made his decision. He thought he’d be stronger than this, that he could let him go just for this, to give Red to someone else. He thought it would be easier but it’s not. The very thought of some random alien, some _stranger_ trying to bond with Red, flying her and sitting in her cockpit, the very lion that Keithal loved almost as much as he loved Lance, it makes him feel physically _sick_. He can’t do that to Red and he can’t do that to himself. He’s made his decision.

“We don’t need a new Red Paladin because _I’ll_ be flying Red.”


End file.
